Stop Sh*t Talking Money
Do you ever wish you could go back in time and change the way something happened in your life?
Or wish that someone had told you a vital piece of information or lesson WAY earlier in life because it would have saved you so much headache and stress?
For example, I wish I could go back and change the way I was taught about MONEY. I wish that I was taught about student loan debt, and the impact it really will have for YEARS after school.
I wish that someone started an investment account for me when I was a kid so I was sitting pretty right now. I wish that I was taught about investing, and how to do it, and encouraged (or forced honestly because as a teenager I probably wouldn’t have listened) to do it.
I wish I heard more positive conversations about money that was about abundance, and how great money can be - rather than feeling like there will never be enough and saving was the most important thing always.
I wish I knew A LOT more about money, a lot earlier in my life. But here’s the thing...I CAN’T CHANGE ANY OF THAT. I CAN’T go back. I can’t learn any of it earlier.
There is nothing I can do about my experience with money growing up. Which is exactly why it is POINTLESS to continue to focus on what I DIDN’T learn and let it affect my future.
Or even more silly, blame my poor relationship with money on my past and do nothing about it.
Just like any other childhood trauma, we have two choices:
We can blame it for all of our negative attributes, do nothing about it, and continue to let it affect our relationships, life choices, self-confidence, and all other aspects of our lives.
We can address it, figure out why we do the things we do, and DECIDE to GROW from it so that it no longer affects our life and our future in a negative way.
If you chose #2, then keep reading and let’s do the work.
What are your money habits that you want to change? Do you impulse spend on stupid things when you’re sad?
Do you pray every time you swipe your card because you refuse to look at your bank account? Do you refuse to buy anything for yourself because you were taught that all your money should be spent on others? Do you avoid conversations about money because you think it’s rude or uncomfortable? Are you afraid to ask for a raise because you don’t want to be seen as greedy?
One of the most effective ways I have been able to change the way I talk about, spend, save, invest, feel about money is this:
CHANGE YOUR CONVERSATIONS ABOUT MONEY. And that often also means, changing the environments you’re putting yourself in.
When you bond with your friends over how broke you are, and that you should just “YOLO” your way through finances....how do you think your actions are going to reflect that? You’re going to forever think you’re broke, or you’re going to keep making decisions that KEEP you broke because “that’s who you are”, and you are going to be on edge about finances your whole life because you never actually made a plan. If the only people you have ever heard talk about money are your parents, who always told you to live modestly, and that money ruins relationships, and that it creates evil....how do you think your actions are going to reflect that? You will never bring up financial conversations in your marriage because you’re afraid it will ruin everything, so you live with resentment. You never ask for a raise even though you are doing the job of three people with zero extra compensation because asking would be ‘greedy’ and it's inappropriate to bring it up.
If the only wealthy people you know about or talk to, are ones who have sacrificed everything, given up all family time, work ridiculous hours, and never live their life....just to make more money - how do you think you’re going to feel about the idea of having or making more money? You’re going to think it is impossible to do without giving up everything. You are going to think the only way to make more money is to give up your family and friends. You are never going to feel comfortable having a lot of money because you have seen what it apparently has done to other people.
And here’s the kicker: Right now you probably are ONLY having conversations about money with people who grew up with similar ideas and beliefs about money as you. Which is exactly why some of those thoughts and behaviors up there sounded familiar, right?
Because it’s COMFORTABLE.
It’s not fun to challenge our beliefs. It’s not fun to address our childhood trauma. It’s not easy to hear something that goes against everything you knew growing up. BUT...it’s the only way that we can CHANGE.
We have to start having more productive and positive conversations about money.
We have to start CELEBRATING it for all that it can do and has already done in our lives that is POSITIVE.
We have to start surrounding ourselves with people who have mindsets about money that we WANT to have. So we can learn from them. So we can hear how they approach it. So we can start to see money in a more positive way, as opposed to “a headache we will always have to deal with.”
I am not saying just surround yourself with wealthy people - because there are a lot of wealthy people who do NOT have a good relationship with their money. But you do need to start talking to people who have a wealthy MINDSET about money.
You might be thinking...”Well EVERYONE I am around has a bad relationship and mindset with money - so who do I turn to?”
YOU. You have to step up and be a leader. You be the one to START the conversations. You be the one to CHANGE the energy and attitudes around you. Lead from the front, so others can then turn to YOU.
Logan Lynch
Logan is a modern-day renaissance woman. She owns her own physical therapy practice, is an online sales coach, and cycling instructor! Talk about a total bad a**. She is an enthusiastic soul with a love of making music, Crossfit, and helping women realize their full potential. When she is not out there changing the world, you are most likely to find Logan lounging in her hot tub with a glass of wine.