Let’s Chat Negativity and Boundaries with Instagram
Ok, I know this sounds like a weird topic but we all deal with the negative trolls that swamp our DM’s, passive-aggressive comments, and the chains we feel about creating content online.
How do we perfect the tiny squares with beautiful photos and videos? Is the blue checkmark the end all be all? Have we “made it” to influencer status yet? If we document every moment, are we really living? All the Linda’s out there thriving online will at some point get burned out on the social media hamper wheel, because we’re fucking human and we can’t keep up with it all.
Fun fact. A few months ago I was gently reminded people are paid to stir the pot online. CRAZY, but it’s true. Like, this is what our world is coming to, social media trolls and online bullies. Insert heavy sigh and eye roll. I think we should still stick with kindergarten rules, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say it at all. Wink wink.
Here’s the deal, the hamster wheel is always turning and the haters are out there. So how do we deal with them and create healthy boundaries? Note, I’m not a professional, but I’m going to share a few basic tips on how I navigate spam, unwanted comments, or rude DM’s first.
First, let’s ask ourselves, why are social media platforms so important to us? Is it for business growth? Does Aunt Betty want to see photos? Or is it purely because we’ve grown up with it and we’re engaging to engage? Sometimes I ask myself, how are these negative humans dropping in; inquiries, suggestions, or just plain rudeness?
So, Identify why their dropping in and…
Erase the rude tone of voice. You can’t hear their tone, so don’t expect them to always sound like a bit**
If they’re offering a suggestion that wasn’t asked, kindly say thank you and move along.
A double-tap heart or thumbs up is a sufficient response. Don’t feel like you have to engage in the conversation if you don’t want to.
Second, can you live with that simple response or comment? Does it make you uncomfortable or mad knowing there are haters floating around?
If so, don’t be afraid to mute, unfollow or even block those accounts. We don’t have to be everyone’s cup of tea. THAT’S TOO MUCH FOR ONE HUMAN! So, I’m giving you permission to clean the house on social media and only keep who you want. Happy unfollowing!
Third, adjust your social media setting; ie make your accounts private so you can navigate who’s coming and going.
If you don’t want to do that, you can change some settings on the backend of Instagram. Filter certain words or comments under account privacy. See the breakdown below. Set those boundaries and thrive in the space.
Personally, I’ve made multiple adjustments as I navigate the world of social media. Trust me, I still have a lot to learn. I have ups and downs just like everyone else. Some days I love it and others I can’t stand it. I want to get on and off whenever I please and not feel controlled by it. I also want proper boundaries around it so it doesn’t control my mood or hinder my creativity. I strive to connect, build community and enhance my business on these crazy, free platforms. I just don’t want to be married to it.
Last but not least, boundaries.
It’s simple, stop recording in real-time and delete Instagram off your phone. Don’t even have the temptation there. Automate your post (if you want) and let it ride. We have to take mental breaks from always scrolling if we want healthier relationships, clearer thoughts and focus, and creative juices to flow.
We can’t always be “on” and giving ourselves permission to step aside and breathe, is perfectly fine.
Nat Finley
Nat is the creative impulse behind She Unites. Her passion for people propelled this project forward and we wouldn't be launching without her! Nat is a lover of all things breakfast food. You'll be besties instantly if you let her eat off your plate. She is an adventurous artist with a camera always in hand, mom of two rambunctious little boys, and just so happens to have a smokin’ hot hubby.